The Kindness of Strangers

I hardly noticed it at first--doors being opened and held, checkers at the grocery store asking, a little more loudly than necessary, if I would be needing help getting my groceries to the car. Then we went to Paris...ah lovely Paris. One day when we got on the bus, a middle-aged woman got up and insisted I take her seat...really, she was almost my age or the age I usually feel...somewhere around 45 or so. I thought, "Oh, how nice the French are to American tourists!" My husband was grinning broadly. He pointed to the sign that informed one and all that these seats are reserved for veterans and the elderly and must be given up if a veteran or elderly person boards.

After returning home, he relished telling this story. The following year, we returned to Paris...boarded another bus (this is our favorite form of transportation in Paris...slower than the Metro, but we get to see the sights) and a young woman offered her seat. She really insisted and finally he thanked her and sat down. ( I smirked, I'm not proud of smirking, but I did, I even enjoyed telling the story after we returned) Later that same day, which was cold and misty, we were looking for a quick lunch and found a sort of fast food sandwich shop. The line extended out the door. We stood there, looking in, trying to decide if we should wait or look for another place, and I became aware of a young woman inside at the table just inside the door, waving at me. I smiled and waved back. She got up, came to the door and invited us to share her table. We did, Tom got in line and waited to order our lunch. She told me that we looked so cold out there, and continued "and you reminded me of my grandparents."

Slowly but inexorable, the reason for all this polite kindness was working its way into my thought processes. On morning as I was brushing my teeth, I saw myself in the mirror...no makeup, hair unbrushed...and I realized I am old. People aren't just kinder and gentler lately...they are simply doing what they have been taught to do by their parents...Be kind to the elderly.

There may be a word that describes my dual feelings of gratitude for the kindnesses and resentment for their noticing that I am old....but I can't remember it because I am old.